Over 40% of workers in the UK admit to having had a romantic relationship with a work colleague (according to a 2025 poll by Milieu). With Valentine’s Day being just around the corner, we reflect on some of the common issues which can be thrown up when cupid’s arrow strikes in the workplace.

Abuse of authority

If a romantic relationship at work involves a senior member of staff and a subordinate, then there are specific issues to be aware of. Firstly, HR need to be on the look-out for any potential abuse of power: is this relationship truly consensual and is there any element of coercion or harassment involved? Employers should require employees (particularly senior employees) to disclose any romantic relationships in the workplace specifically so that HR can satisfy themselves that the relationship is genuine. Failure, by the senior member of staff, to disclose the romantic relationship should be treated as a potential breach of trust.

A power imbalance in a workplace relationship can also lead to whispers of favouritism amongst other staff members. This can, itself, lead to a fractious workplace dynamic. Take the example of Laurent Freixe, the CEO of Nestle. He was sacked last year after failing to disclose an affair with a subordinate. Reports surrounding his removal from post included the revelation that Freixe met the female colleague he had an affair with in 2022 and from then her career “progressed rapidly”. A fellow employee, no doubt aggrieved at the perceived favouritism, made an anonymous complaint, bringing the affair to light.

The affair

Who can forget last-year’s infamous Coldplay kiss-cam moment between Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and his Head of HR. The public nature of the revelation lost both individual’s their jobs and caused reputational damage not just to them but also to the business.

Affairs, by their very nature, involve dishonesty. Employees are not likely to reveal them willingly. This makes it even more likely that the employer will be dealing with a potential breach of trust issue should the affair ever come to light. Take the example of BP’s former CEO Bernard Looney who was sacked after failing to disclose multiple workplace affairs. Or Philip Schofield, who was sacked by ITV after being less than truthful about a workplace relationship with a junior colleague.

When the romance dies

The vast majority of issues surrounding workplace relationships do not occur when the romance is alive and well. They come to light when things turn sour. In acrimonious situations, employees may find it hard to continue to work together. Forcing them to do so risks the possibility of undermining trust and confidence and a fractious and argumentative workplace dynamic.

Moving one of the individuals involved to a different role might be an option in some cases. However, the employer needs to be careful to outline a clear and non-discriminatory rationale for who is going to be moved, and why. If the employer doesn’t have the necessary contractual flex to require the selected employee to move roles then a full and frank discussion will be needed to try and agree a move.

If there is no option to separate the two individuals or options to redeploy one or both are turned down then the employer might be faced with having to move towards a dismissal, relying on ‘some other substantial reason’ (i.e. the workplace dynamic having become untenable) as the potentially fair reason. However, employers should tread carefully before proceeding to dismissal in these circumstances, as the dismissed employee could seek to bring claims for unfair dismissal and/or discrimination – most likely sex discrimination. Any decision to dismiss an employee following a romantic break up should therefore be firmly based on organisational requirements and not gender. Which employee should be dismissed can be the most difficult issue. Clearly there should be no gender basis for the decision. In most cases there will be practical considerations that need to be taken into account as to how the business will operate going forward. However, where there has been inappropriate conduct by one employee to another, the victim of the sex discrimination should not be the one dismissed (or moved).

The fine line between reciprocal romance and unwanted harassment

Not all workplace romances are problematic – but the line between mutual interest and unwanted behaviour can be thin and easily crossed. Persistent messages, or attention that is not welcomed may amount to harassment, even if the intent was innocent. From an HR perspective, it is the impact, not the intention, that matters. HR should provide multiple clear options for reporting unwanted conduct and take all reports seriously.

Key takeaways

Employees need to know where they stand on workplace relationships, and where the boundaries lie. Some employers have a blanket ban on workplace romances. However, this is definitely the exception rather than the rule. Most employers accept that workplace romances are a fact of life and focus instead on controlling the risks thrown up by them. The best way to do this is by putting in place a robust policy governing relationships at work, clarifying:

  • that the relationship shouldn’t affect their work;
  • that there should be no favouritism or preferential treatment;
  • that, in some circumstances, the relationship has to be declared (being mindful of the right that employees have to a private life and the need to balance this with the need for control over the workplace environment); and
  • that one party may have to move roles if there is a conflict or potential issue with the couple continuing to work closely together.

For HR Inner Circle members, there is a comprehensive and up-to-date Relationships at Work Policy in the templates section of the Inner Circle Vault.